My daughter-in-law (DIL) and I had a tough time talking about watching her three kids. Two of them are from her first marriage,
and one is with my son. And she asked me to watch all three. I agreed to watch my grandson but asked for money to watch the other two.
The next morning, I was locked out of her house because she said I was mean to her kids.I tried to make it clear that my choice wasn’t based on favoritism—I love all three kids—but on my limits as a retired person. It’s hard to take care of three kids at once,
so I offered to watch my grandson and asked for money for all three. There is now a lot of stress, and my son is stuck in the middle.
I feel guilty about the stress it caused and know how important it is for limits to be honoured.
I’m looking for advice: “How can I deal with this sensitive matter without making things worse?”
Stick to what you said. We had to pay babysitters or daycare for our children. It’s not an entitlement for you to be a free babysitter for anyone. Your son should stick by your side and agree to pay you if she doesn’t want to. It’s his family. It’s not about who’s kids, it’s about business. And your giving her a break by not charging for 3 and only charging for two. Daycare is NOT FREE. Plus that gives you a little grocery money to feed.
Shame on you! When your son married a lady with 2 children, YOU BECAME A GRANDMA! AS a DIL with 2 boys who married your son, I’d feel the same way! The world no longer has DIL or SIL without previous marriages or without children.